This is literally making me wanna cry
white people’s reactions to that post criticising Lucy makes me so fucking angry. More than that, it makes me trust them a little bit less.
fuck that whole “yes it’s problematic but I’m still excited!” because it is so much bullshit. Yeah, who cares about POC…
I have never seen my cat—the mammal—lay an egg.
Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
Anonymous asked: i loved that sam and avengers fic! could you write one of sam trying to go on a trip away from saving the world and avengers not getting that he wants to relax alone? bonus bucky watching over his house while he is away...
(the original is here)
Sam had the bag over his shoulder and the key in the lock and he was so sure he’d get out. No Avenger had camped out on his sofa for a good week, vacation would happen. He wasn’t asking for much, just a weekend at his sister’s house in Georgia. Just enough time to quiet all that noise he was getting from his mom about not being an “active part of his extended family.”
The key clicked. Then it unclicked from the inside. Sam rolled his eyes.
"Man, you people are gonna give me a complex," he said as the door swung open. "You know if a supervillain actually tried to kill me by sneaking into my apartment, by this point I’d probably be halfway to making him chicken noodle soup by the time he got the garotte around my neck?”
Bucky glowered. Then he noticed the duffel bag.
"Are you—" Bucky started to ask, frowning at the bag. "Do you need a place to lie low?”
Then Sam made a huge mistake. He should have known better, but apparently there was a self-preservation gene missing from his DNA or something.
"Right," he said sarcastically. "Sure, I need a place to lie low. I’m totally on the run right now. While I’m gone, feel free to drink my beer.”
Bucky’s frown deepened.
In hindsight, Sam should have known that meant shit was about to get real.
He had gotten maybe twenty miles down I-95 when a crazy wind started to buffet the car. About ten seconds after that, the sky had turned entirely gray and what looked like some sort of tornado was forming directly over his car.
"Fuck me,” Sam said earnestly. He pulled onto the shoulder and waited.
Thor landed with a thud and a decent-sized crater a moment later.
"Friend Sam," he boomed. "Fear not. I have come to your aid."
"Oh good," said Sam and hit his head on his steering wheel.
"Do he villains force you to harm yourself?" asked Thor, approaching the driver-side window. He tapped on it and the window cracked a little. "Instruct them to make themselves apparent that we may fight like warriors!"
"There are no—”
And then there was a screech of metal and Iron Man arrived with Captain America. The decent-sized crater was now expanded.
"Sam, can you tell us—" Steve started to ask.
"I can do a scan of—" Tony said at the same time, flipping the mask open.
"Fuck. My. Life," said Sam earnestly.
Then a voice piped up from his own back seat.
"I’m guessing you’re not actually being kidnapped, huh?" said Clint. Sam had definitely looked in his rear view mirror many, many times in the twenty miles it had taken him to get this far and Clint had not been there.
"Pssh, like this is the first time I stowed away in a car," said Clint, reading the question on Sam’s face.
"Were you in the trunk?" Sam asked, morbidly curious.
Clint shrugged. “If I told you, I’d have to—you know.” He smiled. “Anyway, Tasha and Bucky have hijacked a six-wheeler and are ten minutes out.”
Sam pulled out his phone and texted his sister that he might be a bit late. Traffic, he said. Super traffic.
singelisilverslippers asked: Natasha and Sam take it upon themselves to help Bucky and Steve adjust to twenty-first century semi-civilian life.
Natasha walks into Steve’s kitchen—through the window of course—and hears the tail end of a conversation about KFC.
"—I don’t think it had much to do with Kentucky," Steve was saying. "Though maybe it does? Maybe Kentucky means something different in the future?"
Bucky grunted in agreement.
"Steve, Steve, Steve," Natasha said, shaking her head. "If you need a tour of modern cuisine, all you had to do was ask. I could take you out."
"I don’t—Bucky asked—” Steve said.
“Both of you,” she clarified. “Come on, let’s see how the fast food industry holds out against supersoldier stomachs.”
She was thrilled later when between them they finished that particular KFC’s daily supply of chicken.
"Natasha took you to a KFC?" Sam asked, appalled. "Man, you haven’t even tried sushi yet. Don’t go straight to the lowest common denominator, you hear what I’m saying?"
"Actually, I noticed that the prices at the KFC made a pretty large meal affordable even for—" said Steve.
"Yes, man, believe me, I know,” said Sam. “But this is your introduction to the future. We can do better than K fucking FC.”
"Yeah?" asked Bucky, leaning back in his chair, all challenge. "Can you do better?"
"Can I do better, he says," scoffed Sam. "Can I do—get your super asses up, we’re going for sushi."
Later, Bucky opened Steve’s fridge and there was still nothing.
"Where do you think we can convince them to take us next?" he called over his shoulder. "I’m hungry again."
"Let’s tell them we don’t know what a cheeseburger is," suggested Steve.
opalhonors asked: Because apparently you are writing ficlets. How about one where Natasha and Bucky sneak into Steve's room and completely redecorate it while he's asleep as a birthday surprise.
"Please, you’re not that sneaky,” said Steve. Natasha and Bucky both froze in mid-step.
"Oh, man, that was a super dumb thing to say," said Sam. "I’m not gonna stand anywhere near you for a couple of days because shit is gonna rain down upon you.”
Natasha squared her shoulders. “What he said.”
An hour after they left, Steve realized his wallet was gone. Then he reached for his phone to text Natasha—which was also gone.
Then he got home and realized so were his keys.
"Dammit," he said feelingly.
He picked the lock. His TV was gone.
There was a small mound of shaving cream on his nose when he woke up. He had reflexes, ok, this shouldn’t be happening. He had government-issued honest-to-god superhero reflexes.
When he reached up to wipe the shaving cream away, he got another face-full of the stuff. Apparently they’d put another mound in his hand just for this moment.
"Goddammit," he said, even more feelingly.
His bathroom was painted a garish neon green color. That wasn’t so bad. It would give him an excuse to do an art project later.
Then his hand stuck to the doorknob.
It was a couple hours later at Starbucks when three separate coffees disappeared out of his hands that he gave up.
"Uncle!" he shouted at the packed Starbucks to shocked, silent faces. "I’m calling uncle! Tapping out! Giving up! I admit it! You’re the sneakiest sneaks who ever sneaked, ok?!"
"We’re cutting you off, sir," said the barista, delicately taking the un-drunk fourth cup of coffee away from him. "I think you’ve had too much."
Natasha and Bucky were waiting outside, lounging against a wall and looking just like the sort of hoodlums neither had ever really had a chance to be.
"Bet your ass we’re the sneakiest," said Bucky proudly.
"So sneaky," gloated Natasha.
Get cereal, Tony says.
Get healthy cereal, Steve says.
Pop-Tarts, Thor says.
Fuck it, this is the one Tasha likes. MOVING ON.
This is sweet.
so that’s what he was doing while Cap was taking down SHIELD
#walk into the club like what up where’s our soviet boyfriend
I’m reblogging because of how I sing this frequently, I’ve accidentally said it to people on the street, i love it so
CAPTAIN AMERICA DOES A GOOGLE
THIS IS GOING IN THE RECAP AS PART OF A SERIES OF GOOFS ON STEVE ROGERS’S SEARCH HISTORY, AND IT TOOK ME SUCH AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME TO COORDINATE PROPERLY (i had to google everything backwards) THAT I’M PUTTING IT HERE. IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY. I DON’T CARE.
- accidentallymelted asked:Sam keeps being the one to catch Clint when he falls/jumps off of things!
The first time Sam went out with the Avengers, Steve did that thing where he jumps off a thing from, like, across the entire sky and expected Sam to...
- Steve/Bucky Rec List
queenklu replied to your post:singelisilverslippers replied to your post:BTWbtw:…
Do you by chance happen to have...
- opalhonors asked:*twitch* I need more... Any more ficlets... Please... I've gone through the scenes from fics I'm not writing tag, and the Ao3... Can you give me any recs for funny avengers shorts, or even multi-story avengers things...
I actually keep all the avengers fic I ever like bookmarked on delicious still. Feel free to wander through there. There might be a few...